Another Note

Note to Self #3:
Stop saying "Bite me." Someone actually bit me.

In order to help those in desperate need of dating advice allow me to add the following.

Things to avoid saying on a first date:
1. “Look! I Photoshopped what our future kids will look like.”
2. “Is it OK if my little brother films us?”
3. “Even if you don’t put out, I’m telling everyone you did.”
4. “You’d better chew on this wolfbane, and here, tie this pelt about your loins. It’s … just a precaution.”
5. “Ever done it with a real clown before?
6. “I’m severely lactose-intolerant, but I was craving dairy and had a half gallon of milk right before you showed up.”
7. “I have some Mexicans … um Mexican products in my trunk to drop off first.”
8. “I have fantasies about Dick Cheney.”
9. “I’ve always fantasized about robbing a bank on a first date. Haven’t you?”
10. “Would you like to lose weight with 29 other people?”