Received these from Sister although I did clean them up slightly. Enjoy!
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please, please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging crap may work w/ your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater, again!
Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", thats why you're getting your butt whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa CLAWS
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer frend, BILLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask is for peace and joy in the world for everybody.
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my Mommy and Daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your Dad is banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane! Do you think he's gonna give that up and come back to your frigid Mom, who rides his butt constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
2 comments:
I'll be over in your neck of the woods for a week---maybe I could stop by and you could share those gifts with me! Looks like you don't want to pay for shipping---so I'll pick up! hahaha
*lol* That was a cute one!
Post a Comment