I lived in Utah at the foot of the Wasatch Mountains. I loved it there. I loved the lack of humidity, it was excellent weather for my asthma and I'd never felt better, I didn't mind the lack of summer rains and I adored the snow, snow, snow which was so light and powdery I could have shoveled the driveway myself. Actually, I just pushed the snow w/ the shovel -- it wasn't a heavy, wet snow as I'm accustomed to. Needless to say, I shamelessly adored living in a real city w/ even more real cities nearby. The mountains were breathtaking and I so felt "at home." Now that I'm at my real home, the family ranch which I'm heir to my girlfriend Lissy sends me this:
You might be a "Utahn" if... (The ones I understand will be denoted w/ an *)
You keep your clothes in "Chester Drawers"*
You don't pronounce T's in the middle of words. (Moun'n, Lay'n)* (I lived in Lay'n.)
If there is a G at the end of a word you treat it as if it were silent.*
You know what Fry Sauce is made of.*(Mayonnaise and ketchup)
You go to the duck pond to feed the Seagulls.*
Green Jell-o with cabbage mixed in doesn't seem strange.
You can pronounce Tooele.* (Too WILL a)
The U is not just a letter - Neither is the Y.*
You have actually eaten funeral potatoes.
You've gotten both heat and frost burns off your car's door handle in the same month! (Nope, my vehicles were garaged.)
You are not surprised to hear words like "Darn, Fetch, Flip", "Oh, My Heck" and "Shoot".*
Your tulips get snowed on three times after they come up and twice more after they bloom.* (Yup!)
The largest liquor store is the state government.*
You can go skiing and play golf on the same day.*
30% humidity is muggy and almost unbearable. (HA!)
You know the difference between a 'Steak House' and a 'Stake House'.*
You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you.*
You can see the stars at night.* (But also on the ranch.)
You were an aunt or uncle before you were three.* (Not me, but I know of several.) You have more children than you can find biblical names for.
Your family considers a trip to McDonald's a night out.
You feel guilty when you watch Monday Night Football.
Your kids believe the deer hunt is a national holiday.
You drink Coke from a brown paper bag.* (The LDS discourage caffeine.)
You consider a temple recommend a credit reference.*
At least two of your salad bowls are at the homes of neighbors.
You wonder why fire truck drivers honk when you drive 35 mph in the left lane on the freeway. (I don't understand that at ALL.)
There is a similarity between a ward basketball game and the L.A. riots.
You think Jack Daniels is a country western singer.* (I know who JD is but there are some who don't.)
You negotiate prices at a garage sale.
You can make Jell-O salad without the recipe.
You've heard about BYU football in a testimony meeting.
You have two gallons of ice cream in your freezer at all times.
Your father-in-law thinks Ronald Reagan was a liberal.
A member of your family wrote in Lavell Edwards for president in the last election.
Sandals are the best-selling shoes.
Hotel rooms all have the Book of Mormon.* (Yup.)
You buy your wardrobe at the local grocery superstore.
You learn about the Mormon Church by taking history in elementary school.
You live in a state where Democrats always come in third place, unless a zoo animal is running. Then they come in fourth.
Schools stay open, even if two feet of snow falls overnight, but closes for the opening of hunting season.* (Absolutely.)
People wear shorts and T-shirts if the temperature rises above 32 degrees.* (They also wear jammies to go out shopping.)
People wear socks with their sandals.
There is a church on every corner, but they all teach the same thing.* (Yup.)
There is also a 7-11 at every street corner. * (Or a Maverik.)
The most popular public transportation system is a ski lift.*
In-state college football rivalries are bigger than the Super Bowl.
You don't have to breathe cigarette smoke until you walk outside the building.*(Nor is smoking permitted w/in blocks of the Temple in Salt Lake.)
Every driveway has a minivan and a pickup truck.*
When you buy a new vehicle, cigarette lighters are optional equipment but ski racks are standard.
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, the local elementary school has to hire a new teacher.*
Every time a new family moves into your neighborhood, your whole family has to go and meet them the next day, after you helped them unload their moving truck.
Your paycheck has an additional 10 percent deduction.* (Tithe)
More movies are filmed in your town than in Hollywood.*
You've never had a Mormon missionary knock on your door, unless you are having them over for dinner that night.
You make a toast with red punch at your wedding reception.
You have more raw wheat stored than some Third World countries.
Your idea of a good time is playing Pictionary in the cultural hall.
Your idea of a wild party is a six pack of Pepsi and a PG-13 movie.
You and all your friends come to your mother for a haircut in her kitchen.
You measure Kool-Aid by parts per million.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Utah.
Later --
11 comments:
Green Jell-o with cabbage mixed in doesn't seem strange.
When I was in school they put carrots and celery in jello?! WTC?! (yep that's right I said what the crap!) That is disgusting!! Why ruin perfectly good jello?! *lol*
I loathe Jell-O w/ or w/out "additives."
Don't you remember? Grampa Fristoe had a "chester drawer"! It must be a Missouri/Illinois thing too.
I didn't remember that! I loved Grampa ...
Incidentally, this was not meant as a "slam" at the LDS. Please don't misconstrue this. The Mormons I know are the kindest, gentlest, most giving AND forgiving people!
*sigh* I loved living in Utah.
You must have selective amnesia! What a vicious man! Next time we talk, let me remind you of the things I remember all too well...
Crusty
HEY GIRLY!! Where the crap are ya?! *lol* I haven't chatted with ya ALL week! :P Don't ya miss me yet?! *lol* Hope all is well!!!
oK...you haven't updated for almost a month now. I haven't recieved a single email....I'm sad!! WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SAMANTHA?!
It took me long enough but I've decided I definitely have to get my act together and rejoin the Land of the Living. What do you think ...?
hey where HAVE YOU BEEN?! I've been worried sick over you!!! :(
I've been here ... Hibernating. Being stupid. What else is new? Now I don't know how to pick up my blog and begin again. *sigh*
well you can always email me....?! I mean gosh, I've been worried about you!!!
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