Does Anyone Remember This?

This will amaze you, as it did me.

It was 1987! At a lecture the other day they were playing an old news video of Lt..Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration.

There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was stunning!

He was being drilled by a senator; "Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?"

Ollie replied, "Yes, I did, Sir."

The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, "Isn't that just a little excessive?"

"No, sir," continued Ollie.

"No? And why not?" the senator asked.

"Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir."

"Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned.

"By a terrorist, sir" Ollie answered.

"Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?"

"His name is Osama bin Laden, sir" Ollie replied.

At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked.

"Because, sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of", Ollie answered.



"And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator.

"Well, sir, if it was up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth."

The senator disagreed with this approach, and that was all that was shown of the clip.



By the way, that senator was Al Gore!



Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners."

However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their hands, The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released.

Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified.
It was censored in the US from all later reports.

Things To Do At a New Year's Eve Party

Just want to help you out, but if you have any suggestions by all means feel free to add them!

1. Wake up writing someone else’s blog
2. Declare war on Iraq! Oh wait, never mind…
3. Plaster the streets with incriminating photos involving your pet and a root vegetable
4. Tattoo Bible verses all over your body and then do a strip tease for your friends
5. Should anyone spill a drink on you, scream, “It burns, it burns!” in a possessed Linda Blair voice.
6. Declare sock garters to be back in fashion and wear a pair. Nothing else.
7. Put everyone’s keys in the toilet to prevent drunk driving
8. Arrive late, drunk and loudly announce, “Well, it looks like I’ve slept with everyone at this party already.”
9. “Hey yer Mom looks familiar. Whoa. Too familiar.”
10. Your suggestion _____________________.

Thursday

Mood:
Grumpy, want to be left alone.
Rerun of yesterday when I was not left alone.

It looks like winter outside today and in fact, it's 40° which is really brisk for down here. "Normal" this time of year is 55°- 60°. On Monday and Tuesday it was a disgusting 70°! I don't think we'll even see a rare flake of snow this year. You know, it's still pretty coming down even if it doesn't stick because the ground is too damn warm! My great friend Lissy lives in Eden, UT (think Park City) high in the mountains and this is her forecast for today:
a snow advisory remains in effect until 5 pm mst this afternoon.
snow showers will continue over the wasatch mountain valleys and the central utah mountains north of i-70 this morning before decreasing during the afternoon. additional snow accumulations of 1 to 4 inches can be expected through 5 pm today.
a snow advisory means that periods of snow will cause primarily travel difficulties. be prepared for snow covered roads and limited visibilities...and use caution while driving.
Her five day forecast is literally snow every day, and it'll remain that way until April! I miss Utah! We had tons of snow but it was so powdery, so light I could shovel the driveway myself in about ten minutes. I loved it there and wouldn't have left if Daddy hadn't become ill. However, in many ways I have a much better life here.

The holiday season 2005 is nearly over and on 2 January I'll finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief. I dislike the holidays anymore. I didn't used to -- I was a big holiday girl! At Halloween I bought pumpkins but didn't carve them so I could keep the pulp to make fresh pumpkin bread and cookies for Christmas. I baked thousands of cookies -- like six different kinds -- and gave them to my neighbors and friends. But those are times long past. The Kliban Christmas mug is put away and this morning I'm drinking my coffee out of the U.S. Space and Rocket Center mug w/ my name on it that my parents got me on vacation a couple of years ago. I really miss the Holiday Girl sometimes but these days I can't find motivation to do more than let the wolfie out to potty in the mornings. If Legs wasn't so insistent I probably wouldn't do that much. Dr. Winston is going to change my meds again when I see him on 19 January but I believe I'm staying on Effexor XR, and probably Valium. The panic attacks frighten even me, I feel like I'm having a heart/asthma attack. Therefore, I think he's just adding something else to the "cocktail." I did have a bottle of Xanax that worked very well but it's gone. I don't know where it got to but it's not here. Another thing I despise: The medication ritual twice daily. I have more pet peeves than there are molecules in the air. Trust me. I'll post a list sometime -- you won't believe it.

I often wonder how the Ovation worked out ... I wish I knew. But, I'll never know now so I must try to let it go. Forget about it.

Update on Uncle Steve:
Of course he's still hospitalized in the rehab unit. He's coming back slowly, very slowly. He still has no use of his right arm and the right side of his face is still distorted. It tears me up seeing my vibrant, active sweetheart this way but we're all in agreement of that. He's begun to sort of walk w/ a walker and gaining strength daily. And he's talking a little more now although it frustrates him when he's misunderstood. But he and my aunt have a decision to make very soon. She's been on unpaid family leave the past month but if she doesn't return to work on 3 January her company will no longer pay their insurance premiums. So she could stay in the hospital w/ him for two more months but would be forced to pay the premiums herself. I have no idea how much they are but having been in this situation previously, I can tell you my premiums were formidable. It's not that they can't afford it -- I just don't know what they're going to do. He's not spent a single night in the hospital alone and there's nothing to make me believe he's unable to -- Aunt Pat just doesn't want him to be alone. But Uncle Rex, Daddy and she are the only ones who stay w/ him.

Finally, after long, hard thought and prayers I've chosen my single New Year's Resolution: I intend to pay it forward. You might think of it as determining my own karma -- no matter. But w/ only one resolution that I'm extremely determined about I have no doubt this will be one very rare success story of my life. The only other success of my life I found many years later I actually failed and failed miserably at. No more. Never again.

Later --

Why Are Cats So Damn Funny?

When I need to laugh I often search for cat photos. I hope they tickle you as well!

I call it a pre-emptive strike.

Autumn hates your low-quality 'nip and demands the good stuff!

"I hate your let's-get-drunk-and-shave-the-cat parties!"

"Your idle threats from my ancestors long-dead only fuel my despise for you!"

Bob hates your high-carb diet and demands Kitty-Atkins.

"You're lucky you hid the 9mm, cracker!"

Not impressed with your "after meal treat" you will find Charles' poop-surprise when you least expect it.

"Help us! Help us! The claw is baaaacckk!"

Life Sucks

My life sucks. I feel like I'm in a rut but I took Mom shopping today and I'm glad I did -- despite having to drive her U.S.S. Nimitz Cadillac -- because at 3.30 it was misting rain and getting dark out. Had she been alone she would have been sunk because she admits she has trouble seeing in the dark or the rain.

Speaking of Christmas, I got my mom a new TV for her bedroom. Don't ask me how she does it but every single night of her life she's in her room by oh, I guess 6.30 w/ her jammies on watching TV while sitting up in bed. So I got her what was her heart's desire -- a Philips w/ Smart Sound, Smart Color and several other bells and whistles!

For my daddy I got a CAT belt buckle:



The photo doesn't begin do do it justice! It's absolutely breathtaking! He has always been proud to be a CAT man, and somehow I knew that would be perfect for his Special Gift this year.

And then one of the nicest gifts I got this year was from my Palomino Snickerdoodle. He's just the greatest horse, gets me the most wonderful things, he clop-clop-clops through the malls till he finds the perfect gift for his mama. What a boy he is!





He's the greatest horse! It's a suede western jacket, raspberry in color and even I think it looks good on me. Now that's something! Another great gift I got was a Coach handbag which I would never have bought myself. A friend did though. He's a very good friend!

I nearly forgot this: My birthday is in five weeks. Today my mom told me what they're getting me: A membership to L.A. Weight Loss. That was sort of insulting although I know she meant well. Honest, I'm not like the Fat Lady at the circus, people don't stare at me -- in fact, no one ever notices me. Except my mom, I guess.

More later perhaps --

Forever and Always

You will always be my baby.

Tuesday

It's a Nothing Special day today. My dad came over to put Christmas lights and decorations from the Big House in the shop and had to scream at me about being depressed. That really helped a lot. I stood there in my circular driveway crying and yelling back at him when my mom got between us. My heart is shattered! I just can't snap my fingers and make it go away! But I can make an emergency appointment w/ Dr. Winston (El Shrinko) which is what I did and where I'm now going.

At least I still have Gerald. And a photo of Cancun from a chopper the last time I went. It's not supposed to make any sense. I just ran across the image and thought I'd stick it in there. It was really a lot prettier in person.

I think I'm going downhill so I'd better go. I love you!! Don't ever forget that. Please.

Merry Christmas Everyone! (font repaired)

Something very unusual happened to me this morning. I forgave him. Anger is a heavy burden to carry but unfortunately I'm unable to just drop it at will. It takes time and lots of prayer, and this morning on Jesus' birthday I was blessed w/ the gift of forgiveness. And because I forgave I also forgot. We've not yet opened gifts as Daddy is still w/ Uncle Steve but I'm gonna guess this is the best gift I'll receive -- this year or any year. So I am very happy this Christmas morning!



Drinking coffee out of my Kliban Christmas coffee mug, gazing out the window can you guess what I do not see? Allow me to illustrate:



nor



But at least I can pretend!



Trust me, that would be better than the rain we've been having. That's winter in the South: rain, rain and more rain. I have to pause here to get the turkey in the oven but I shall return shortly. It's a small bird.



And now I'm back to finish this up. And Something To Be Proud Of by my favorite, Montgomery Gentry is on TV! This is going to be a great day! I'm glad I did my nails last night instead of this morning because getting the bird in would no doubt have destroyed my polish in Cherry Rain. Yes, I'm a habitual nail polish changer -- I can't help myself. Perhaps I should discuss that w/ Cindi. Trust me, we never run out of topics to discuss. There's always a crisis ... The story of my life.



Last night I took all the food to Miss Pauline's around 4.30 as she was expecting the Tribe to begin rolling in anytime but at the present no one was there except her. It was foggier than I've ever seen it -- I have foglights but still I creeped along about 20 mph because I didn't want to run over anything, especially a hideous So we sat in her kitchen and talked and she actually got a little misty-eyed as she said, "We just love y'all so much! Y'all aren't friends, y'all are folks!" I said, "Miss Pauline, you know we feel the very same way about all of you! Heck, I've been family ever since I was James' campaign coordinator (James ran for Sheriff the first spring I was here) and I told my parents then, 'Once you get hooked up w/ them Lindseys they don't let you go!'" Which is really true -- they're just country folk in the most literal sense of the word and you can't help but love every single one of them! She said James and Patrick had been in the field w/ the cattle all day -- perish the thought! Mud had to be a foot deep everywhere! We sat and chatted for an hour until her daughter and son-in-law came dragging in at which time I left. She really didn't want me to but I truthfully told her I had to get to the market before it closed at six because I needed chocolate milk. She didn't even question me. Anyone who knows me I need a glass of chocolate milk before I go to bed or I'm just not Samantha. I'd also planned to go to St. Andrew's but it was so foggy I was spooked about going all the way out there on Hwy. 22 so I ended up missing out on Mass. *sigh*



So I get in town to Big Star which was closing at 6.00, grab my milk and a couple of other items and who's standing at the door waiting to close up? My old sweetie pie, Mr. Griggs! He saw me coming and opened his arms, gave me the biggest hug I've had in a very long time, wished me Merry Christmas. I'm so crazy about that old man it's ridiculous -- but again, this is the South and everyone loves everyone. It was wonderful seeing Mr. Griggs on Christmas Eve. Also one of the guys that works there who hit on me big time.



I found an image online that resembles my little 90 lb. wolfie, Legs:



And boy, does she ever put her face in the air and howl, just as the image depicts! Now let me put up a photo of James' bird dogs:



Yup, even his redheaded Blue Tick hounds are rednecks! Oh, me! I really crack myself up!



Finally, my wish to you, all of you who read this, is to have the Merriest Christmas you've ever had before. Please know I've written this w/ love and forgivness in my heart, and my wish is sincere.



And if you get a chance, drop me a line or leave a comment and let me know what Santa brought you! Now I have to finish wrapping gifts. Oh, me ...

It's Christmas Eve ... Last Minute Gift Ideas

Yeehaw, the Big Day is almost here! Is everyone excited? I'm just about beside myself because of the gifts I bought -- at least, the ones I don't have to return now. Those make me sad, it's nothing less than a tragedy because they would have been enjoyed by several, not just the recipient but it can't be helped. I don't think I'll battle the returns till probably my birthday in February. Or I might just leave them in the giant box in the ... you guessed it: tool shed! I sort of have a bad attitude about this whole situation like,

So I'm sitting here sipping coffee out of my Kliban Christmas mug, looking outside ... at the rain. This is what I'm not seeing on my ranch:


That's just sad. I don't know why I torture myself. I don't see this either:



My poor horses wouldn't know what to do if they saw snow -- any significant snow, I mean. They have enjoyed an inch or two but the baby who is three, hasn't seen much. He's so deprived!



I drove back to the ranch last night about 7.00. It was so warm I had my window down plus the two rear ones in the SUV were down about an inch. Across from the factory I saw Roy Dee had a few spindly Christmas trees left. He puts them out in his front yard for sale the day after Thanksgiving, apparently sells quite a few. Down the way the Triangle House was all lit up like ... well, a Christmas Tree. It's actually an A-Frame but the entire front, every square inch has lights on it so it looks like a big old triangle. Blue Man Group were all lit up -- that's a house where a couple of good old boys live and they use only blue lights. And then the Bush People were lit up too -- so named because they only put lights on their two shrubs out front. And way out across from Jay's shop a trailer home moved in. Used to be just a corral there w/ a bunch of goats in it but now that trailer's there. They got one strand of lights around their doorway. That's it. And because I chose to drive through the forest instead of the back way I got a surprise: Mr. Willie Fay has white lights all over his dang old house! I didn't expect that one.


My daddy has gone to be w/ Uncle Steve for the next 24 or so hours. You'll remember -- if you caught the posts on my previous blog (sixteen months of it) before 181.syracuse-06rh15rt.ny.dial-access.att.net 12.75.117.243 deleted it along w/ all my photos -- the day before Thanksgiving Uncle Steve had a massive heart attack followed by an emergency triple bypass. After spending five days in the hospital and then feeling fit as a fiddle he came home where he spent a total of eight hours before he had a stroke. A blood clot traveled from his heart and his right side is now severely debilitated. He's beginning to talk a little and he can move his right leg, even put a little weight on it but as far as I know he's not yet moved his right arm. My aunt has hardly left the hospital during this past month, and only when Uncle Rex or Daddy can spend the night there w/ Uncle Steve. He'd wanted an 8 hour pass so he could come home for Christmas but Aunt Pat found out the insurance company felt if he could leave for 8 hours, he could leave forever and they would discontinue paying for his rehab. No doubt that broke his heart -- I know it broke ours! But everyone got together to work out a compromise: Daddy is at the hospital so Aunt Pat can have Christmas w/ Tara and the girls tonight. Tomorrow morning she'll attend church and then be at the hospital around noon to relieve Daddy. When he gets home, I'll go to the Big House and we'll have our Christmas. We don't mind -- it's a very small price to pay, no price actually. I love my uncle and would do anything to see him smile again.



As promised, the following are a few last minute gift ideas: This year, give gifts that they’ll never forget. Or forgive.

1. A bucket of fresh, molten lava
2. Their very own Manure Spreader
3. A stack of stolen newspapers
4. A Nad's Hair Removal kit
5. A map of Guam
6. A new tongue scraper
7. An actual Jivaro shrunken head
8. A sea lamprey
9. A date with the Daytime Hooker from My Name is Earl
10. A bowl of eyelashes
What are you planning on buying this year? If you have any better ideas feel free to post them!

And finally ... I couldn't leave you w/out this:



'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin' 'cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba, Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin' down his chin was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was a foul stench in the air.
That Bubba got scared and rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12; Jim Bob was 11;
Dud goin' on 10; Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky were 5,4, and 3:
The twins were both girls so they let them be.
They jumped in their overalls, no need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head, then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack that hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns; they grabbed them all.
Bubba said to the young'uns, "Now hesh up ya'll!
The last thing we wanna do is wake up yer Maw."
Maw was expecting and needed her sleep,
So out they crept out the door without making a peep.
They all looked around, and then they all spit.
The young'uns asked Bubba, "Paw, what is it?"
Bubba just stared; he could not say a word.
This was just like all of the stories he'd heard.
It was Santy Claus on the roof, Darn tootin'
But the boys didn't know; they was about to start shootin'!
They aimed their shotguns and nearly made a mistake
That would have resulted in venison steak.
Bubba hollered out, "Don't shoot, boys!"
That's Santy Claus and he's brought us some toys.
The dogs were a-barkin' and a-raisin' cain,
And Bubba whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Down, Spot! Shut up Bullet! Quiet, Pete and Roscoe!
Git, Turnip and Tater and Sam and Bosco!"
"Git down from that porch! Git down off that wall!
Quit shakin the trailer, or you'll make Santy fall!"
The dogs kept a-barkin' and wouldn't shut up,
And they trampled poor Pete Who was only a pup.
Santy opened his bag, and threw out some toys.
Bubba got most, but left a few for the boys.
Since the guns had been dropped he just might not die.
He jumped in his sleigh, told his reindeer to hurry.
The trailer started to wobble santa started to worry.
Just as the reindeer got into the air,
The trailer collapsed, but Bubba didn't care.
He was busy lookin' at all his new toys.
Then a thought hit him, and he said to the boys:
"Go check on yer Maw, make sure she's all right.
That roof fallin' on her Could-a hurt just a might."
But Maw was OK, and the girls were too.
They fixed up the trailer; it looked good as new.
And as for Bubba, he liked Old St. Nick,
But Santa thought Bubba was a pure-in-tee hick!
Bubba had a nice Christmas, and the boys did, too.
And the Taylors wish A Merry Christmas to you!

Oh, me ...

Merry Christmas Eve-Eve

Today I braved the plethora of last-minute Christmas shoppers. I went so far as returning the Trac Phone and cards w/ the minutes on them but after that I couldn't take any more of the wall-to-wall shoppers. The rest of the returns are back in the box in the tool shed (*snicker* incidentally, it's quite a "tool shed" -- 50'x60' *snicker*) where they'll remain probably till I decide to jet back to Vegas or Cancun or somewhere. That could prove to be an incentive, more spending $!



I went to my appointment w/ Cindi the Shrink who has an entirely different take on the problem I'm having w/ someone. Cindi says it seems to her that this person whom she knows as well has a sexual addiction and as w/ any addiction such as a narcotic, people will do anything to keep the supply rolling in. People who are addicted will stop at nothing. It answered a good many questions I've had over the years, questions that despite my intelligence I couldn't even begin to answer. And because Cindi gave me some answers I finally found peace and calmness and quietness in my head. Therefore, I'm not having a problem w/ anyone anymore. It's all settled and calm and finished.



The only problem I'm having now is this despicable weather! It's 23 December and do you know what I wore today? A pullover sweater and jeans. The weather didn't even have the decency to be chilly today! You would never know it's December, let alone nearly Christmas were it not for the decorations and Santas interspersed throughout the stores. I'd be tickled to see some flurries as we do have precipitation in the forecast but at 60°I don't think I'm gonna see a flake tonight. What treacherous weather we're having in the South!



This Christmas the plan had been to have a ham. That was Mom's plan I should say as she's never been a fan of turkey. But at Thanksgiving she made a grave error: She introduced Miss Pauline and the entire Lindsey Tribe to The Dark Side: Yankee Dressing and my Amish Noodles. Yes, we're Yankees, displaced in the South because Daddy loves steamy weather and hates snow. No, I'm not Amish. I'm Catholic. But in the North we lived near Amish communities and I don't care what anyone says, that Amish cooking is so good it'll make you want to slap your grandma! So I bought a dozen Amish cookbooks, making Daddy and Uncle Steve, and apparently the rest of our community extremely happy. However, if you ask the locals oh no, they don't want any parts of that Yankee cooking, they want Mama's good old cornbread dressing and not a one of them knows what a noodle is. They know what dumplings are, Mama makes those but they wouldn't touch a noodle. But my mom is ... pushy. We have monthly potlucks at our local firehouse and Mom made dressing and bribed me into making Amish noodles. Then she threatened everyone there, and they caved. So at Thanksgiving James was laid up after recent surgery, and the day after Mom took to Miss Pauline leftover dressing and noodles which she then shared w/ her son. They loved everything Mom took them and Miss Pauline promptly asked us to Christmas Eve Dinner at her house (w/the entire Lindsey tribe). Mom asked what she could bring and was told dressing and noodles. Oh, and that pea salad she makes. Miss Pauline could live on that goofy pea salad. So I told Mom: Since we have to make dressing, couldn't we please have another turkey? She caved. (Another benefit of being an only child: My parents cave easily.) So I battled the giant Kroger and bought a fresh -- never frozen -- Butterball. It may be I've lived down here too long and it doesn't take much to excite me anymore but I have very high hopes that this will be the best turkey I've ever roasted! I'll keep you posted -- but I'm not above lying if it sucks. *LOL*